Why being happy is scary...
And how having a funky relationship with happiness is hurting you in more ways than you think
We have a funky relationship with happiness. All of us. Christians and non-Christians alike wrestle between a deeply rooted longing for it and the disappointments of life. Christians tend to look down on happiness and split hairs, arguing for a more spiritual concept and word like joy when in fact, scripture uses these words interchangeably.
John Piper writes, “If you have nice little categories for ‘joy is what Christians have’ and ‘happiness is what the world has,’ you can scrap those when you go to the Bible, because the Bible is indiscriminate in its uses of the language of happiness and joy and contentment and satisfaction.”
And let’s just straight up ask this question of us Christians. If joy is what we claim as “our thing,” - how much of it do we actually have in real life?
What’s that? Joy is not abundantly overflowing and stopping traffic around us?
If we are honest with ourselves, we are as overworked, stressed out, overwhelmed, and anxious. We know our leaders are.
75% of pastors report being “extremely stressed” or “highly stressed”.
90% work between 55 to 75 hours per week
90% feel fatigued and worn out every week
How on earth are pastors supposed to lead us into this wonderful deeper joy we speak of if they don’t have the right lifestyle, skills and environment to flourish themselves?
If you’re a pastor - I offer scholarships for qualified pastors to go through my Xponential Life program.
If you’re a congregant and your leader needs this - forward this post. Even better, forward this to your board because they are the ones who should be initiating and paying for this level of care for their leaders if they want to see their congregations flourish.
Non-religious people are no better. Secular culture is fine with happiness “on paper”, but actually glorify work fatigue and busyness. Think about it. It’s highly unlikely to hear someone answer the question “How are you?” with - “I’m really happy, grateful, and thriving, thanks for asking”. The more accepted and expected reply is: “busy”, “life is crazy”. Or a default “good” - which is essentially a non-answer to a non-question.
Americans are the hardest-working people on earth. Also one of the most stressed out. Ironic, considering the pursuit of happiness is literally one of the most quoted parts of the Declaration of Independence. Also ironic is how far the meaning of the phrase has drifted from its original intent. We interpret pursuit as in pursuing a suspect or chasing something. This makes sense, considering we aren’t exactly catching happiness in America. It is well documented that the original meaning of the term was pursuit, as in pursuing a career, which means a practice and a skill that is expected to be mastered.
Studies show conclusively that no matter where in the world, humans long for happiness. I think it’s because we have an ancient “knowing” of Eden and long for it. The reason we are scared of the idea of being happy is uncomplicated - because we are terrible at it and much of our surroundings prove that happiness is fleeting and unattainable. I beg to differ.
As I am writing this, I am in Paris, on my way back from Tbilisi, Georgia, where I spent a bit over a week teaching the Xponential Life framework to a meeting with groups between 25 and 60 people in various configurations unpacking easy-to-implement techniques and teaching the life-changing big picture effect of a truly full, free, holistic happy life. When I’m in stunning places like I was this summer ( France, Spain, Portugal, Georgia) I try to record a mobile episode of Headspace or two.
The video below is a quick list of 6 practices that anyone can implement and become more rooted, happy, creative, and connected to God. I hope you enjoy it. If you do - forward this post to someone who may enjoy it as well.
Most of the content I create is free and is there to equip you with timeless, tried, and true techniques and strategies to flourish in life. But if you want to get there faster (much faster) and ascend higher. Here’s how.
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I highly recommend learning more about how I help people get unstuck, level up, and leap forward in 8 weeks. Even if you’re busy, even you’ve tried other approaches before. It comes with a qualified money-back guarantee. Your only risk is showing up and doing wholehearted work. Click below to learn more.
“Christian is the real deal. From helping me build the foundation of my marriage to providing the spiritual guidance needed to launch two successful startups, I couldn’t have done any of it without his grounded yet elevated insights. I am grateful to have him as a mentor and guide.”
- Blake, Сo-founder of a major food company and a diamond import company
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