A letter To My 14 Year-old Self
A few years ago, I wrote a letter to my younger self.
More specifically, I wrote to myself at age 14 amid a cataclysmic change in life. My parents had just gotten a divorce, and I was moving again to another country. I was confused, heartbroken and the future looked murky at best. Writing it and reading it out loud to close friends turned out to be a cathartic experience and a liberating one. Above all else, it helped me be more compassionate towards myself.
I am posting the letter here because it may motivate you to do the same. May it give you a glimpse inside my eclectic life and my heartache. May it also illuminate your life with a warmer glow.
Dear Christian,
I know you're hurting because of the separation of your parents. At age 14, you have already been a refugee in Germany after a military coup in Chile, and witnessed a civil war in Mozambique. You are heartbroken after the divorce of you parents and anxious, again leaving a life you loved in Mozambique to go to Russia.
I have bad news and good news about the future.
First, the bad news:
Your childhood is basically over. Things are about to get rough. Mom and Dad are not getting back together - ever. You will not have a dad to guide and mentor you in the coming years. You may get a letter or two a year, that's it. School is going to be hard. A different language and a more challenging school environment. You'll feel dumb a lot. You'll be the only darker-skinned kid in the whole school. Your standard of living will go way down for about a decade. Your bed will be a pull-out chair in the kitchen. You won't see the beach for years to come, and nine months out of the year, the weather will be cold or overcast. In a few years, you’ll see the country fall apart and tanks in the streets of Moscow.
For some time, you'll feel insecure about how you look. Romantic relationships are going to be appealing and also alarming. They will invoke the betrayal, heartache, and disappointment of your parent's divorce. You will undermine and sabotage every single one of them. You will hurt people because out of fear and self-protection. Two young women will have abortions because of you. You will not make a real effort to avoid that because you will be selfish and cowardly. This will haunt you for the rest of your life. You will have a daughter from a romantic relationship you never intended to get serious. You will love her with all your heart, but you will lose her for a long 6 years because of your unstable, irresponsible character. Your choices will scar her. This, too, will haunt you for the rest of your life. By age 26, you will be miserable and depressed and hit rock bottom while simultaneously peaking with your music career and admired by millions.
On to the good news:
You will gain strength through hardship and develop the superpower of cultural flexibility. Your mastery of four languages will serve you well. Your other superpower developed out of so much change will become the ability to learn new skills at an accelerated rate. In your loneliness as an outsider in every country you lived in, you will build creativity and depth. In your isolation, you will become intensely curious about what makes people flourish. Your classmates in this new country and culture will love you and embrace you. Despite your lack of motivation in school, you will get a stellar education and earn a master's degree in economics.
Your natural musicality and work ethic will give you a successful music career. You will influence millions and even help elect a president. You will play sports arenas, and people will sing songs you have written in your kitchen and in the subway. Your life will change when you meet Jesus and his people. Your sins will be forgiven, and you will be trained anew on how to think and act, how to see the world, and how to be a friend and a husband. You will preach the word of God and influence thousands for eternity. You will find one of God's favorite daughters, and she will love you despite your past. You will get your daughter Diana back. You will have two more daughters. All three will be baptized into Christ. You will serve the poor and preach on four continents in four languages.
You will build several businesses and nonprofits in the US. Some will fail, others will do very well. You will start a faith community in Austin, TX, and it will be an excellent home for you and many others. You will return to Africa and serve a hurting place that gave you so much life. Through the Holy Spirit, God will turn hardship, sin, shame, and pain into blessings and power. You'll enjoy deep friendships with godly men and women.
You will be tested and fail often, but ultimately, you will choose not to be a victim but a victor. You will learn to turn suffering into a superpower.
I don't know what comes next, but as I write this letter, you are thriving and full of joy. It all works out. Just trust God, love people, be grateful and curious.
Last Call for my webinar: Xponential Career Leap - Recalibrate and Reinvent Your Professional Life
February 5th at 12PM CST
The next episode of my Little Book Stories series shares insights and stories that didn't make it into my book. This one is about why faith matters and my journey after growing up in an atheist household and culture. Let me know what you think in the comments section.
Wow! This was amazing, Christian! 🥰