Our life is perfectly designed for the results we get, and nothing changes until we change.
It's that simple, and making it more complicated than that is one of the many ways we trick ourselves into not dealing with this reality.
In the words of Dr. Joe Disperza, "Your personality defines your personal reality."
I found this rather uncomfortable statement to be true:
I would sabotage every relationship until I decided to change, and now I've been happily married for 25 years.
I wrote and shelved two books until I decided to approach writing as a pro rather than a hobby. My new book is coming out this fall.
I've enjoyed podcasting and blogging for years as fun until I decided it was also a responsibility. Now, thousands tune in for new posts and episodes.
I can go on, but you get the point. My story and the stories of many of my friends and clients have changed as we accepted the challenge to reinvent ourselves.
We hide behind our personalities but dream of versions of our lives where the main character doesn't match the story.
The truth is that there are multiple versions of us. We get to choose the hero and the journey that matches.
"That's just not me" is the death sentence to dreams. Complete this list with your favorite rationalization:
I must do everything myself for it to be done right.
I'm just not a happy person.
Success always comes at a personal cost.
I don't deserve the success I've achieved.
If I can't be the best, then it's not worth doing.
I'm not cut out for higher leadership roles.
Showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness.
It's too late to start something new or change my path.
I can't balance my career and personal life effectively.
I don't think I'm capable of building a healthy marriage.
What are your dreams precisely if you were to make a hard reset? Will they remain vague aspirations until they become regrets of years of inaction?
What makes you feel fully alive?
What brings delight into your life?
What were you born to do and are too fearful to try?
Are you willing to change your personality to change your personal reality?
If this stream-of-consciousness post resonates with you, watch my conversation with my friend Mark Talukdar and pay close attention to his tenacious approach to becoming a different person by expanding his skills, improving his health, and developing his business.
You can and must change who you are to live fully.
Don't complicate it - get going.
You can take our free Xponential Scorecard assessment to understand better where you are today.
Another great conversation I recommend is my talk with a leading researcher on growth mindset, Dr. David Yeager
Books I'm reading:
Brand it like Serhant - a great book on the power of a personal brand.
The Almanack of Naval Ravikant is a collection of great insights from a brilliant thinker.
Dominion - How The Christian Revolution Remade The World. Epic in scope and insightful on the forming of Western Civilization.
Movies I enjoyed ( and one to stay away from):
Am I Racist by Matt Walsh - super funny take on the Anti Racist point of view.
Megalopolis by Francis Ford Coppola - I'm a huge fan of Francis, so I went to see this film without watching a trailer. It is star-studded and an absolutely self-indulgent work by an otherwise genius filmmaker. A terrible, terrible movie. Sorry, Francis.