The Wakeup Call That Changed My Life
I was 35 years old, directing a 2.5 million dollar national project, and also in charge of projects in multiple Latin American countries for an international charity. We had just moved to the US with two small children, and life was full of excitement and discovery. Then, something happened that served as a lesson and source of wisdom for the rest of my life.
It was a literal wakeup call.
I was offered the job because of capabilities unique to the task at hand —leadership qualities, communication skills, mastery of media, and speaking multiple languages. The job was still like drinking out of a fire hose; I had so much to learn, and I loved every minute of it. I was attending fancy conferences in DC with exclusive receptions at the Smithsonian and spending time with exceptionally smart and accomplished non-profit leaders. I was flying all over the US and internationally; it was exciting and successful work. We got two prestigious media awards for our multi-media educational project that was implemented nationally and eventually adopted in a number of countries internationally. In the midst of all of this, my family was getting neglected.
I was at a conference in Jamaica when I got the call from my wife, Deb. She was exhausted, and her health had taken a hit as she was taking care of two babies with no relief. In no uncertain terms, she told me she'd had enough of my jet-setting and that I had to get on a plane home immediately. I didn't have a ticket home, but I literally got in a taxi and went to the airport to see if I could get on a plane. That didn't work, but I did get home quickly. This was a wakeup call for me as I realized just how quickly the external world can monopolize my time, energy, and effort at the expense of my personal world. After profusely appologizing to my wife, I took decicive action.
I had a heart-to-heart conversation with my CEO and put a six-month moratorium on travel as I recalibrated my life. Since that day, I have, on occasion, overcommitted to one important thing over another more important thing. Still, I have continuously invested in integrating the personal and the professional, the inner and outer games. I now believe that integrating everything, starting from the personal and professional and going deeper into mind, heart, body, and soul as a lifestyle is a game changer. This pursuit has brought much harmony, joy, and impact into my life as I helped others and saw them succeed at extraordinary levels as a result.
The techniques evolved into what is now Xponential Life Coaching.
This story of many of my clients is as old as time. The good news is we can reverse it. The outside world rewards us for our skills and productivity with respect, promotions, and money. So we keep doubling down on our outer game until we start seeing something happen that makes us hit a plateau or the proverbial wall. This is the classic progression:
We work hard, acquire new skills, and add value in the marketplace. So…
The marketplace gives us more responsibility, higher compensation, and more respect. So…
We marry, have babies, and get stuff, and life becomes more expensive to maintain. So…
Between higher costs, more responsibilities, more at stake, and more complexities, we slow our progress across the board. So…
After having a clear trajectory in life for years, we don't have a direction, only competing obstacles. So…
We lose joy, creativity, and productivity and, ironically - can no longer grow and do the work we were born to do. So…
We don't work at the top of our game, can't compete in the marketplace, and our family, friendships, and health are in a depleted state. So… we find ourselves anxious, confused, not sure how to bridge the gap between our pain and our dreams.
I remember my thoughts in that Jamaican airport as I was desperately trying to find a plane back to the US to the wife I adored and had neglected in the name of providing for her - "never again." It sent me on a journey of change, recalibration, and growth, giving me fulfillment at work, a strong family, and daily joy.
Watch this new video I created about the Xponential framework to describe exactly what the four key shifts are to recalibrate and reinvent your life.
PSA - Before I break for the summer. I'm doing one more free webinar on Anti-fragility - How to Thrive in Times of Change ( June 29th at 12PM CST). We tend to run out of spots quickly, and we do not record these webinars to provide a more intimate space for lively discussions. Get your spot ASAP and mark your calendar.
What I'm reading: The Almanac of Naval Ravikant. I've loved Naval's insights for years; many of them have informed many of my life choices. Someone assembled a collection of his thoughts from countless interviews and tweets. Great stuff.
In Case You Missed It: my remarkably insightful conversation with my friend Julie Landi, a coach and founder of Live Your Vision. I learned quite a bit about the female perspective of 5 Steps to Living Your Vision, Impact & Money and how to recalibrate life at any age. We also discussed the new logo and beautiful website my team at Third Drive Media developed for Julie - they are now creating a line of gold jewelry out of it. I highly recommend watching this for both women and men.