Four Things My Father Gave Me That Changed My Life
Father’s Day Issue
In This Issue
• The four habits that shaped my resilience (and my daughters’)
• The truth about “quality time” (it’s not what you think)
• A video podcast version of this issue
• Scorecard: Are you ready to build your personal brand? ( click here to find out)
Win of the Week
A client who was torn between two career moves is now locked in — focused, clear, and building a tech startup that will save lives.
Pulse Check
🟠 I’m thinking of launching a 3-day Passion to Profit Challenge — small group, 1 hour/day of live coaching on how to turn what you love most into a profitable brand.
Small fee. No fluff. Lots of personal attention.
Upcoming Opportunities - 30 Minute Live Deep Dives with Christian for Subscribers - Free
3 Essentials of Building a Profitable Personal Brand - June 25th 12 PM CST
Rocket Fuel: How to Go From Stressed to Focused, High Energy and Creative - July 16th 12 PM CST
Deep Dive
Four Things My Father Gave Me That Changed My Life
My dad was awesome. Not perfect. He messed up and I had to work on healing from that.
But here’s what’s comforting: you don’t need to be top 1% for your children to say you were a great parent. That helps a lot — because most of us would take a bullet for our kids, and most of us are a bit messed up in one way or another.
We went through some traumatic stuff as a family — military coups, exile, poverty, the collapse of whole countries. And when I’m on podcasts, hosts often ask:
“How are you not bitter? How are you still confident, creative, and optimistic?”
Here’s my theory:
My parents, especially my dad, gave me a foundation that made that possible.
Here’s what they did — and why I built my life and career around doing the same for my kids.
1. They were around — all the time.
I don’t know who started the “quality time is enough” myth, but it’s a lie. You need quantity time. Presence.
My dad came home for lunch every day. Took a nap. Went back to work. We always had dinner together, around a table, with real conversation.
I can’t explain how much joy, peace, and love came from that rhythm. It made me feel safe and seen.
2. We experienced things together — all the time.
He’d pull me under the car while fixing it. I didn’t care about engines — I just liked being close.
He taught me spearfishing, horseback riding, self-defense. He taught me my first words in English.
He was an engineer, I turned out to be an artist. But watching him be endlessly curious made me hungry to learn too.
My ability to tackle new skills and hard things? It started right there.
3. I learned about the world through his stories — all the time.
We’d go off for weeks exploring wild, sometimes dangerous places.
He’d tell me about surviving a concentration camp. About human cruelty. About the civil war happening right outside our home.
He’d invite me into adult conversations with his friends in the living room. I learned what it meant to live for a cause — to believe in something bigger than myself — from those men.
4. He was affectionate and emotionally available — all the time.
Even as an atheist, he modeled tenderness and care that helped me embrace the idea of a loving God.
That matters — because we often project our fathers onto God.
Yes, he betrayed my mom. That ended in divorce and trauma for me and my sister. I resented the betrayal, but I didn’t hate him.
I missed him when he was gone. I needed him during those adolescent years. And his absence left a mark.
But the love he gave me early on? It stuck. It formed something deep in me.
That phrase — all the time — is no accident.
Because the best thing we can do as fathers isn’t to parent from a distance. It’s to weave our lives into theirs.
All the time.
That’s why I’ve spent over 20 years building lifestyle businesses.
I probably could’ve made more money. Collected more accolades.
But there are no shortcuts to being a father.
And now?
I see the fruit.
Deb and I raised three daughters. They’re out of the house now, and each one is extraordinary in her own way.
I believe their drive, character, and confidence come from the life we chose to build.
Notice how it mirrors what I received from my dad:
1. We were around — all the time.
We built ministries, companies, non-profits… but never missed a single major moment in their lives.
2. Our lives were shared — all the time.
Our friends were their friends. They came with us to serve the homeless, work with at-risk kids, and even to Hollywood sets when I was directing high-budget music videos.
They sat in the crowd when I spoke. Sat on my lap while I edited. We shared the journey.
3. We showed them the world — all the time.
We weren’t rich, but we traveled. All over the U.S. and the world.
They saw beautiful places, broken places, glamorous and humble places — all in person, not just on YouTube.
4. We were affectionate — all the time.
Hugs, encouragement, physical and verbal affection.
We wanted them to know: this is what a healthy man looks like. This is what love looks like.
Because of that, I can speak truth into their lives — and they hear it.
They have no doubt that I love them.
If you’re a father:
Do everything you can to build a life that builds up your children — even if you didn’t get that growing up.
Happy Father’s Day!
Send this to a dad who needs to read this.
A Video Version of this Issue
How I Can Help
• Explore Xponential Life Coaching