The Decision That Cost Me Millions — and Gave Me Everything
Why building a legacy of presence matters more than chasing success.
Christian Ray Flores here —
Today, I’m sharing one of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned about success, legacy, and what really lasts.
Also — two quick opportunities you don’t want to miss:
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In Today’s Issue
• The legacy decision that cost me millions — and why I’d make it again
• How to build a success that your family will thank you for
• Proof that presence beats presents (from my daughter’s words)
In My Headspace
Curated insights worth your time and attention.
How to break the cycle of burnout and realign your ambition with a sustainable, impactful life.
A powerful conversation on why being a great family man is the ultimate leadership advantage.
• How To Find Love & Keep Love: My 17 Marriage Secrets (YouTube Video)
Today’s Deep Dive
The Legacy Decision That Cost Me Millions — And Gave Me Everything
I’ve always been driven.
Impact wasn’t optional — it was in my blood. I wanted my life to matter, my work to shift things, my energy to leave something behind.
Where that drive comes from, I’m not fully sure.
Maybe survival instinct. Maybe wiring. Maybe calling.
But I know my kind.
The ones whose brains are racecars.
The ones who can’t sit still.
The explorers, the builders, the leaders.
And I know our greatest weakness.
We say we’re building for our loved ones — but often, they get our leftovers.
We convince ourselves it’s for them.
But they’re not impressed by our accomplishments.
They just want us.
In my mid-twenties, as my career was rising, I made a decision most would call irrational.
I decided I would rather be an extraordinary husband and father than a legendary artist, entrepreneur, or leader.
If that meant less income, slower status, fewer accolades — so be it.
And it did cost me.
It cost me millions.
It cost me opportunities.
It cost me proximity to some kinds of impact.
But what it gave me?
A foundation that no success could ever build — and no failure could ever shake.
They say a father spends, on average, one cumulative year with his child after they leave home.
One year. That’s all you get.
Meanwhile, the first 18 years?
They shape almost everything.
This spring, my middle daughter, Violetta, is graduating from business school at St. Edward’s University here in Austin. ( follow her on Insta.)
It’s a full-circle moment.
Proof of concept.
A check on the decision I made decades ago.
Did it matter?
Did presence beat presents?
I’ll let her words answer that.
Here’s an excerpt from an essay she wrote about me for one of her final classes:
“But perhaps most powerfully, Christian’s role as a father highlights the emotional richness of middle adulthood. Deeply committed to his family after experiencing a fractured one growing up, he vowed to never leave his family and do everything in his power to provide the best childhood possible. He fully accomplished this as he has provided a stable, nurturing presence in his daughters’ and his wife’s lives. His active involvement, attending every dance performance, every theater performance, prom dress shopping, taking global trips, and consistently affirming his love and pride in his children and wife, has created a secure and supportive family environment…”
“Christian Ray Flores’ story is a testament to the power of resilience, cultural fluency, and the lasting impact of love and purpose across the lifespan. From the chaos of political exile to the stability of a thriving family and meaningful career, Christian’s development aligns with key stages and principles of Erikson, offering a real-life case study in how challenges can be transformed into a life of service and fulfillment.”
We’re all building something.
The real question is:
Are you building something that will last when the applause fades?
Legacy isn’t something you find at the finish line.
It’s something you build with every unseen, quiet decision to be fully present now.
Quick Pulse Check
Win of the Week
I’m writing this in a plane to Indianapolis.
Sunday I get to speak at a church — and Tuesday at the Renew Conference, with my wife Deb to a fully booked class.
I get to serve a few hundred people and hang out with some dear friends and leaders.
How I Can Help
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P.S.
If today’s Deep Dive hit home — if it stirred something about your own legacy or what really matters — I’d love to hear from you.
Just hit reply and share what resonated. I read every message and respond personally.